Happy. With a capital 'H'

On the weekend Bryn asked if I was happy. Capital H happy. To be fair, I started the conversation. But really I just wanted to talk about him and not myself, which unfortunately didn't turn out as I had hoped. I believe I answered that I was Happy. But it was a lie. Not really intentional, but a lie nonetheless. I feel like I should be Happy. But going to Guelph and seeing Kate's home (and I use home in the truest sense of the word) and the way all of her roomates interacted...it made me miss something that I've never really had. I saw it with my sister and desperately tried to recreate the same thing last year, failing miserably. This year I was sure I was making the right roomate decision. But it still isn't that safe place that I'm longing for. I feel like I miss home, without really knowing what it feels like to be home. I remember life being easier than this. I remember being Happy.