Procrastination

I've realized that, despite being wary of anything related to computers, I'll probably end up posting more than I'd like to this year. Why, you ask? Because I procrastinate. And I can't stop. I think I'm addicted to it. I actually actively look for ways to procrastinate. Even when the work I have to do is something that I'd normally do for fun, like read The Beauty Myth. Suddenly it's part of a course and I become terrified that I won't be able to write an intelligent essay...and I get this knot in my stomach and can't bring myself to even look at the material. But I worry about it, and dream about it (and not in a fun way) and completely stress myself out. Eventually I'm forced to just suck it up and write the essay. And, to my surprise, it usually turns out okay. It could have been better if I had actually had time to edit it further and explore different aspects of it, and I tell myself that next time I'll remember this. But clearly I don't.

People always say that mistakes are good because you learn from them and then you won't make the same mistakes again. But the thing is that I'm constantly making the same mistakes. With school, with boys, with friends. And I can't seem to change it.